Alrighty decided to share some of my…ermm….formidable cooking skills (yes I am being sarcastic)!! anyway I am just gonna tell you how I make it and modifying it anyway you like and making it better or worse with your own skills is upto you, this is just how I do it and I am sure there might be some mistakes in it, but who cares, it tastes good at the end hahahahahahahaha!!
1) 1 tin of fish, about 250 grams (recommend sardine or mackerel but can use tuna from the store too, you can even use fresh cooked fish).
2) About 3 medium sized potatoes.
3) 3 green chillies (or hot peppers as they call it here).
4) 2 big yellow onions (even polka dotted is ok as long as its freakin onions).
5) 4 cloves of garlic.
6) 1 teaspoon mustard seeds.
7) 1 teaspoon cumin seeds.
8.) 2 1/2 teaspoon pepper (or as much as you want).
9) 1/2 teaspoon red chili powder (paprika powder for the folk here).
10) 1/4 teaspoon dried red chilli pieces.
11) salt to taste.
12) 2 eggs.
13) bread crumbs.
14) oil to fry.
If you are using tin fish, drain all the water out of the can (if there is water in the cutlet from the fish, then the cutlet becomes too moist and soggy later and it will start to smell badly big time), and remove all the bones and unsightly stuff. Then either using a spoon or your hand just pull it and tear it apart to tiny pieces. If you are using fresh fish, then boil the fish and do the same as the tin fish, remove the bones and skin and other nasty stuff and make tiny pieces of the fish.
Then take your potatoes and boil them till they are nicely soft and tender then smash it up and break the potatoes up (do not smash it to mush but rather into tiny pieces).
Chop up the onions, green chillies and garlic into tiny pieces. Make sure the onion and garlic is chopped well into tiny pieces.
Heat 3 tablespoons of oil in a pot or wok, on medium heat, and let the oil heat up. When the oil is nice and hot, add the mustard seeds and cumin seeds. When the mustard seeds start to pop and the cumin seeds start to split, add the chopped garlic and mix for about 2o seconds to flavor the oil. As soon as the garlic starts to change color, add the onions and salt (don’t put too much salt, if the amount of salt you put is too little its ok you can add salt later when you taste it but if you put too much then you are screwed so be careful, adding salt while the onion is cooking is a good time to add the salt for the dish as the salt helps to cook the onion faster by getting the moisture out of the onions). When the onions start to turn a light translucent and start to become a light shade of brown, add the green chillies and the fish. Stir the mixture for about a minute, then add the crushed potatoes. While mixing, add the pepper, red chilli powder and the dried chilli pieces. Keep stirring the mixture well till the mixture is all nice and even, taste to see if the amount of salt is to your satisfactory, if not add some salt and mix well. Remove the mixture from the heat.
Let the mixture cool for a bit so it can he handled easily when you make the cutlets. After the mixture cools down a bit, take a tiny amount onto your hand and roll it in between your palm and using your thumb into a ball (dont worry if the balls are not even….hahahahahha uneven balls hahahaha….blame the cutlets dont blame yourself 😉 ) . Make different shapes if you want; balls, discs, shaped like cat poop, any shape you want actually, and pile it onto a plate.
After you shape the entire batch of mixture, prepare your breading station (its really like the battle station, messy and sort of annoying till you get the hang of it). Keep the shaped cutlet plate on one side, then a dish or container of the two eggs well beaten (needs to be beaten well cause we are using it as the egg wash) next to the cutlet plate and finally another plate filled with bread crumbs.
Now time for action, dip the shaped cutlets into the egg wash and coat it well, then put the egg washed cutlets on the bread crumb plate and cover it completely with bread crumbs. Make sure the entire cutlet is well coated, then move the bread crumbed cutlet onto a container and start on another cutlet. Bread all the cutlets. Its better if you roll the cutlets in the egg wash using one hand and then roll the egg washed cutlet in the bread crumbs with your other hand. If you use both hands for the egg wash and the bread crumbs then your fingers will become sticky with bread crumbs and egg and it makes you look like some sort of lady gaga hybrid and not to mention it gets frustrating as you try to pick up the un-breaded cutlets (experience thought me well young padawan)….and again blame the cutlets if they get misshaped during the process lol.
Alrighty now to the final step, add liberal amounts of oil to a saucepan, add enough oil so that your cutlets will be completely immersed in the oil cause we are going to deep fry and we need an even fry on all sides (if you have a deep fryer, even better you lucky bastard, you can use that). Keep the sauce pan in a medium heat, and let the oil heat up. When the oil is nice and hot (you can test if the oil is hot by sprinkling a little bread crumbs onto the oil, if the bread crumbs start to bubble and fizz then the oil is ready). Now add a few cutlets into the oil and fry them till a nice golden brown color is achieved (don’t over crowd the saucepan with cutlets, the cutlets wont cook properly then). After they are fried, remove from the oil and put it onto a container or plate lined with a paper napkin so that the excess oil gets absorbed by it.
That’s it, now go ring up your mum and tell her “MA….I MADE CUTLETS ALL BY MYSELF…NAAAANAAAANANA!!”…..wouldn’t hurt to tell your mum that you got your recipe from thebuddycollective either hahahahahahahaha!! cheers guys!! oh yea…you can serve the cutlets with any sauce you like…ketchup, hot sauce, bbq sauce, plum sauce, captain underpants sauce…..heck you can even use booger sauce hahahahahahahaha!!